The Rhythm Is Going To Get You

Driving is a lot more fun these days than it was when Rachel was younger. We don't listen to the Little People ad nauseam as we did when she was younger.

The Wiggles are still in the rotation, though not as heavily as they were previously. They still calm Rachel when she needs it. You can tell by Rachel's relaxation technique that has existed since she was in the womb. She thrusts her third and fourth fingers into her mouth and sucks on them, so much so that she may wind up with a permanent scar on one of them. Think Maggie Simpson doing "Hook 'em Horns" in her mouth at age six.

Rachel's musical tastes have evolved. She still likes kids' music and the Barenaked Ladies' Snacktime is popular with all three members of the family. Thanks to the Davis Academy and Breman Religious School and mommy singing in choirs, Rachel sings a lot of songs in Hebrew as well.

But what excites mommy and daddy the most is that Rachel has developed a taste for classic rock. For some reason, there is a bit of a country twang when she belts it out. Still, we couldn't be more delighted.

I think one of the first songs she repeated was the triumphant chorus of Dream On, when Steven Tyler starts to screech at the end. I think Queen was next. What makes Queen even more entertaining is that Rebecca devised elaborate pantomimes of the lyrics that always make daddy's sides hurt from laughing so hard.

Now Rachel has discovered Steve Miller, although she has been cautioned not to sing I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker at school.

When I was in college, my girlfriend used to work in the student center. I'd go visit her and play Don't Bring Me Down by Electric Light Orchestra in the jukebox.

Well, imagine my surprise when I loaded an ELO cd in the car ysterday and heard a little voice singing it back to me. Isn't heredity grand?

Rachel and I stopped by Best Buy yesterday and she insisted on trying Guitar Hero. That's when I learned she had added Pat Benatar's You're a heartbreaker, dream maker to her repertoire. I think I purposely didn't listen to hear if she said love taker as well. She really had a twang when she laid on the emotion there.

Incidentally, I think I may be the most uncoordinated drummer ever to play Guitar Hero. Even though the band members on the screen were cartoons, I felt intense guilt when they stopped playing and looked at the drummer as if to say, "What the hell is wrong with you? Elaine on Seinfeld had more rhythm when she danced!"

And when Rachel and I played together? I might as well be the proverbial white guy on the dance floor thrusting his neck in and out to the music while gouging a hole in my chin with my front teeth that are sticking out.

Nope, daddy better stick to Madden and Tiger Woods.

In fact, I felt so chastened that I left Best Buy sucking on my third and fourth fingers. I think one of them may scar permanently.

Truth is Stranger Than Fiction

I'm still chuckling over something I overheard tonight. It was kids eat free/crafts night at our nearby Chick-fil-A and Rachel was assisting her younger friend Caleb as he placed stickers on a tree.

Some of the stickers he chose didn't really fit where he placed them and in one case, the sticker was upside-down.

Rachel was trying to wrap her brain around it all and asked Caleb, "Is this real or non-fiction?"

SpongeBob Questions

Last week, Rebecca dropped Rachel by my office. I was to keep her entertained for about 45 minutes before dropping her off for a playdate.

I got Rachel settled in at my desk and logged on to PBSkids.com. The newsroom was quite relaxed, because both the news director and managing editor were out of town.

Reporter Jerry Carnes and photojournalist John Samuels were among the people who stop by to see Rachel. Jerry has three children much older than Rachel and started talking to her about Spongebob Squarepants. It seems that Jerry has done a lot of thinking.

He asked Rachel why there is a beach in Bikini Bottom when they are already underwater. He mentioned the fact that SpongeBob can't swim, but he is a sponge and could float anyway. He pondered why Larry the Lobster was the lifeguard and why a lifeguard was even needed underwater. And why does Spongebob have two teeth?

"Don't forget the squirrel," I added.

"Yeah, what is the deal with the squirrel?" Jerry asked. "What is SHE doing down there?"

Rachel looked at Jerry as if to say, "Who are you and why are you asking me these questions?"

Not long after that, we got in my car to drive over to the Temple, where Rachel was to be picked up for her playdate.

As we buckled our seatbelts, I said, "You know, Rachel, Jerry brought up a lot of good questions."

To which Rachel replied in an almost exasperated tone, "Dad! It's a cartoon. IT'S NOT REAL!"