Breaking Up Is Easy To Do, Hard To Talk About

"Dad, while you and mom were eating, I broke up with (name redacted)"
"Aw, I'm sorry. Was it your decision?"
"Yes"
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"NO! Why does everybody want to know my business?"
"Okay. Well, (name redacted) was supposed to come over tomorrow. Is that still on?"
"Yes"
"What's that going to be like?"
"Awkward, probably"
(Dads head explodes. Leftover torso wanders aimlessly, searching for where it misplaced the "Guide To Teenagers)