Wednesday, January 28, 2009

6-Year-Old Perspective

I was trying to put five dollars of gas in my car the other day when the pump instructed me to go to the cashier. Not wanting to leave Rachel in the back seat, I asked her to come with me.

It was one of those freestanding cashier windows, where the employee pushes out a tray to return your credit card or change. The clerk asked for our phone number. I provided the area code before Rachel blurted out the rest of the phone number.

As Rachel examined the window she noticed the silver tray where the change is returned. She then asked the clerk, "Why is there a dog dish in there?"

Friday, January 23, 2009

Bad Daddy!

Next week is Rachel's 100th day of school. The kids are supposed to bring one hundred of any one item. Rachel plans to bring 100 buttons.

The students are also supposed to dress as 100-year-olds, with their school uniforms underneath. My wife, who has been fighting a cold for a week and a half, griped, "Now how are we going to dress her as a hundred year-old?"

I moved over to whisper in her ear, "We put one kid in a pine box and then have six others carry it in!"

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Who Needs An Energy Drink....

....when I get all the boost I need from seeing the grin spread over my child's face and the "Yea!" she shouts whenever I tell her I'll pick her up from school.

Me Too, Kramer!

You know that Seinfeld episode where Kramer suffers seizures every time he hears Mary Hart's voice? That's me whenever I hear Lara Spencer on The Insider!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

L Is For Limber. It Also Is For Liniment.

Every Tuesday night is kids' night/arts and crafts project night at our area Chic-Fil-A. We try to make sure Rachel makes it every week. She gets to hang with her peeps and burn off energy on the indoor playground. Rebecca and I get to talk for a while and try to scarf down soft-serve cones before Rachel spots them (we rarely succeed.)

Last night, despite temperatures that had already plunged below freezing, our part polar bear/part penguin daughter took off her shoes and socks at the indoor playground and at some point, ran out to our table to grab a few waffle fries and some juice.

All of a sudden, an unmistakable fragrance wafted up to my nostrils. Yup, definitely foot smell. Rachel was informed a bath would be her agenda. She agreed that would be no problem.

As Rebecca and I glanced at each other with a "whoo, hope no one else can smell that!" look, Rachel lifted her foot up to her nose to give a close up whiff. And then like a junkie needing more hits, she brought her foot up to her nose a couple more times. As Rebecca and I marveled that Rachel hadn't fainted yet, we also mentoned the remarkable dexterity of children.

Apparently, Rachel decided "you ain't seen nothing yet!" She lifted the leg past her nose and then placed it flat on the middle of the top of her head. Again, she repeated the action for added emphasis. And again. A 4-year-old boy from a nearby table came up and started trying to imitate her. By then, my eyes had bugged out like Harpo Marx. My wife and I looked at each other wide-eyed and shook our heads in disbelief.

Rachel returned to the indoor playground.

Now when I was younger, I could sit cross-legged with each foot atop the opposite hip, flip up onto my knees and walk across a room on my knees while still in the cross-legged position. You could just hear women say, "Oooh, who is THAT guy?"

Key phrase in the last paragraph: "when I was younger." With Rachel back on the indoor playground, I lifted my left foot from under the table and pressed the sock against my nose and looked at my wife for affirmation. "You're probably gonna feel that tomorrow," she said, with a mixture of "I'm impressed" and "Don't hurt yourself, honey!"

I put my foot back on the floor, slipped it into a loafer, stood up and started taking our trash to the receptacle. My hip asked, "What was that?" I looked back at my wife, smiled and replied, "Tomorrow? How about now?"

Mixed Emotions

Next month, one of my best friends will get married for the first time at age 51. All I can ask is that he be as happy with his decision as I am since I walked down the aisle almost seven years ago.

Allen has asked me to be one of his groomsmen. I agreed, especially since he was one of my groomsmen. I'll fly out to Portland, Oregon February 11 and return February 15. I am excited to see another part of the country, but I don't think I've ever been apart from Rebecca and Rachel for even half that long.

Rachel realized last night I was going to be away several nights. Her lip started to quiver and she started whimpering, just on the verge of tears. I ached for her and also felt filled with love for the impact we've had on each other's lives. Rebecca assured her they'd have fun and go to grandma's.

Still, as I usher my friend Allen on to the newest phase of his life, I will be yearning for the two lights of my life more than two thousand miles away. While their pictures will be on my nightstand; my yearning to return to them will be constant in my heart.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

"But Seriously, Folks!"



If this tv news thing doesn't work out, there is always the Borscht Belt.

Homemade Birthday Cupcakes



The kids definitely had preferences. We ran out of "star" sprinkles before "lines."

Rachel turns 6!!!!



Rachel wears her special hat as her classmates celebrate her 6th birthday.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Key Lime Birthday

Family Portrait

"Happy Birthday to You!" "And Happy Birthday to You!"



My birthday is December 17th. Rebecca's is December 18th. This was our birthday lunch at Bahama Breeze.

Mutual Admiration Society

Love Personified