History Lesson

We were in the car talking about the approaching Fourth of July.

"Rachel, our country is going to be 234 years old this year!"

"When did it become a country?"

"Back in 1776."

"That was before you were born!"

Your children will keep you humble.

If Lawyers Were Seven Years Old....

It's amazing being the parent of a 7-year-old child. I like to call it "teenager light."

All of a sudden, she seems to know everything, despite the fact that her mom and dad have a wealth of experience they are more than willing to share. How does a child grow so cocksure that the way they see the world is the way it is? It's like living with a miniature lawyer. It makes you wonder what our judicial system would be like if attorneys were seven years old.

"Will the counselor please approach the bench? What seems to be the problem, counselor?"

"I can't decide who I want to be my boyfriend."

"Excuse me?"

"I can't decide who I want to be my boyfriend. Jacob likes me, but I don't really like him. Brandon shared his pirate booty with me in the lunchroom, but I think he likes Barbara too. I like Stephen, but I also like Mark....."

"What does this have to do with your client, counselor?"

"I want to marry Stephen....and I think he wants to marry me!"

"Well, good, now can we get back to the case at hand?....Counselor, what seems to be so funny?"

"I farted."

"Great, I'm very happy for you. Counselor, I'm warning you! Stop laughing!"

"I farted again."

"Fart again and I'll find you in contempt!"

"I don't know what that means...."

"Contempt means you're acting so badly I may have to put you in jail."

"You don't liiiikkkkkke me. Waah!"

"Of course I like you, counselor. But I have told you before there are certain ways I expect you to behave in my courtroom."

(She cries louder.)

"Counselor, if you don't stop crying, I am going to have to call for a recess!"

"Yea!"

"Yea?"

"I LOVE recess!"

"We might need a break anyway. Your shoes are on the wrong feet!"

"No, they're not!"

"Yes they are! Your left shoe is on your right foot and your right shoe is on your left foot!"

"Which one is my right again?"

(Judge points) "That one!"

"Thanks, Judge. Can you make me something to eat? I'm hungry!"

"Counselor, we just came back from lunch 20 minutes ago!"

"I didn't like the bread. I only like Sara Lee."

"Does this running commentary ever stop?"

"And they didn't have the cheese I like either. I only like cheese like they have at the Olive Garden. And I'll only eat turkey the first day we get it at the store....'

"I'm getting a headache! Everyone come back in an hour."

(Bangs gavel)

"All rise!

(Judge leaves courtroom)

"Awesome! It's 1:30. iCarly is on!"

Enjoying The Ride

Daddy Digs Into A Turkey Leg

Rachel The Fairy At The Renaissance Festival