Our Day at the Zoo

We went to ZooAtlanta Saturday. It was a hot, steamy day. I swear the animals were looking at us thinking, "Dumb Homo Sapiens. Why would anyone be outside today if it wasn't necessary? Someone please hurl a popsicle inside a watermelon our way!"

There was another reason we were there though. Fisher-Price had a playscape set up for children from infants to age 5. Fisher-Price...the makers of Little People.
It was Cannes for the Toddler set.

So as soon as we pass through the turnstiles, we make only one stop before heading to the Fisher-Price tent. We have to see the elephants, because Rachel wants to see them up close. The elephants are inside, but look like they want out. Rachel is suitably impressed, for as long as her attention span allows her to be.

Then we head into the Fisher-Price tent. Just because there's a tent does not mean it is cool. But Rachel is fine. There are Little People, miniature houses and a miniature kitchen, as well as dolls you can snap clothes on and off of. Rachel goes right for the dolls' shoes. Uh-oh! I think we have a harbinger of the future!
Meanwhile, I'm thinking of kicking off more than my shoes and treating the tent as a sauna.

During the TWO HOURS we spent in the tent, life-sized versions of two Little People characters come in to meet and greet the kids. Hey look, it's Sonya Lee with a pituitary problem. It's Eddie with Human Growth Hormone. I take pictures of Rachel with both. Unfortunately, my digital camera is on the fritz, so we had to buy one of those "use once and throw it away" cameras with no flash. I got the pictures back today. The photos may as well be from the moon. All the indoor shots are really grainy.

At one point, I wander off to see one of my favorite animals, Allen the Orangutan.
Poor Allen's fur is looking rather matted and he's got straw or hay all mixed up in it. It looks like he's been on some sort of simian hayride.

Anyway, one of the keepers is talking about how none of the female orangs wants anything to do with Allen. All of a sudden, the connection I felt with him becomes more clear! "I've been there, Allen! I have been there!"

I returned to the girls and we take a miniature train ride together. Let me tell ya, the trains cars were obviously not made for two forty-somethings with a toddler in the middle. Our faces became quite red at the end of the ride, when they had to use the Jaws of Life to free our butts!

We wander around the rest of the Zoo and at one point, we encounter a bird known as the bustard. As I try to form a punchline, Rebecca beats me to it and says, "I guess that's a buzzard whose parents never married!" I chuckle at this the rest of the evening.

With Rachel wearing down and irritable from fatigue and the heat, we make our last stop at the gorilla enclosures. ZooAtlanta has four separate gorilla families and a docent comes over with all sorts of fascinating facts. For instance, Ivan can't stand the rain or any water dripping on him. When he's inside, he likes to watch soap operas and paint. And a couple of the orangutans like to play games on the computer. I expect to see their MySpace profiles any day now.

Unfortunately, while we're outside, Ivan also picks his nose and eats it. Of course, as I study the genus and species for gorilla, it reads Redneckus Progenitorus, so there ya go. Thankfully, Rachel doesn't see the disgusting display. She's dancing on a metal grate, making as much noise as possible.

A short time later, she collapses face-first on the pavement. I'm completely sympathetic. However, it will be two and a half-hours before she actually falls asleep. She will then sleep 12 hours.

Later, I ask her what she liked best about the zoo. "Little People" she exclaims. Hope she isn't too disappointed when they're not there the next time. Still, she liked the elephants and zebras too. In fact, she wants a zebra as a pet. Maybe she'll settle for a White Stripes cd.

Doggone It!

You know, behavioral experts say if you repeat a certain action or response to something long enough, eventually it becomes second-nature to you.

I think I proved that to be true today.

I went over to our neighbor's house to tell them something. Their dog Joe, who knows me well, started barking at me from inside the garage, which was open. I have no idea why he wouldn't stop, but the barking was incessant.

Exasperated, I turned in his direction and with an "Aw c'mon!" tone in my voice, exclaimed, "Rachel!....I mean Joe!"

Next thing you know, I'll be feeding Rachel from a dish on the floor!

Ticked Off Toddler

Most everyone has heard about the "terrible twos." Not as much is written about the "tyrannical threes." We are quickly learning that three-year-olds can be pint-sized little manic-depressives. They can be way up one minute....and the next they are standing defiantly with arms crossed, one step away from spitting up pea soup with the ability to rotate their heads 360 degrees.

Rachel has definitely tried to test her boundaries. She has spent a lot more time standing in the corner lately. Perhaps most frightening, she told us the other day that "being bad is more fun than being good." After standing in the corner six minutes and being spoken to harshly, she declared, "I don't want to be bad anymore."
Or more accurately, as she says with her accent, "any mow-uh."

Anymore, as in Friday night. We were at Temple and Rebecca was among the teachers honored for their hard work at Sunday SChool this past year. Rachel couldn't stand mom being in front of a large audience alone, so she bolted to the front to be held, barefoot, having already shed her socks and shoes.

Afterwards, she and a little girl named Ally were jumping together on a raised stage near the buffet line when the following exchange occured.

Daddy: "What's your name?"
Ally: "Ally."
Daddy: "Nice to meet you Ally. How old are you?
Ally: "Four."
Daddy (turning to Rachel): "Tell her your name."
Silence
Daddy: "Her name is Rachel. She is three."
Rachel: "No, I'm four!"
Daddy: "Rachel, you're not four. You are three. Ally is four!"
Rachel" "I am Ally too. And I'm not three anymore; I'm four!"

Etcetera.

Other times, the excuse for questionable behavior is "I'm sleepy." Also handy is "I miss my (insert name here) friend at school." It never has anything to do with the bone of contention, but it's used nonetheless.

Anyway, today she was great. She spelled her name on the refrigerator magnets at home without help. She stayed reasonably close to us at lunch. She even ate all her food. I took her to the bookstore and picked her up five books, including one of the Arthur the Aardvark Series that teaches proper manners.

At some point, she put on a foam hat with Ernie from Sesame Street on it. The store has a train set in the children's department and the hat fell off Rachel's head and landed on a little boy, who said, "Ouch."

We told Rachel to apologize and she absolutely refused. We returned the five books we intended to buy her to the shelves one-by-one. After each book, she was given another chance to say, "I'm sorry." She still wouldn't say it. The little boy looked hurt Rachel wouldn't apologize. She just crossed her arms, pouted and said she was tired.

So....no books. She wanted to be carried to the car. She had to walk. Tough love. No videos the rest of the night. She eats what we do. No child of ours will act like that.

When she awoke from her nap, I asked her again why she refused to apologize. She replied that "it's not fun!" We informed her that lots of things in life are not fun, like changing diapers or passing up on what we want to see so she can see a video. Whenever she'd ask for something she could get herself, I'd tell her I wasn't going to get it because "it's not fun!" I hope the message got through.

In the meantime, mark my words, I will go back for that manners book!