Sugar and Lice Is Not Everything Nice

I picked up the phone at work. My wife is on the other end of the line.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news," she said. After I guessed incorrectly about what it might be, she asked, "You know that head lice problem at Rachel's school...."

"Oh no! You're kidding me."

"It appears our daughter is the first student outside the room where all the other cases have been to develop head lice. I think I saw something crawling in her hair. Could you call our pediatrician and find out what they advise us to do?"

I made the call immediately and received a call back to wash her hair with Lindane. Thankfully, we did not. The instructions for Lindane indicate it could be harmful to people under 110 pounds. Rachel is 3. She is 80 pounds too light for Lindane.

What Rebecca did get was Rid Shampoo. She distributed it liberally through Rachel's abundant hair, but had difficulty washing all of it out, since Rachel can resemble a greased pig when you try to corral her in a bathtub. My wife then ran a special nit comb through her hair, finding what appeared to be a louse or two and saving it in the toilet for me to see when I came home. Both my wife and I would be nit wits by the time this ordeal was over.

By the time I came home, it looked like Rachel had overdosed on hair gel. We kept it in though, making a mental note to rinse again before school started again Monday.

When Sunday rolled around, it was daddy's turn to administer the bath. We hadn't seen any lice in her hair since the first treatment and felt good enough about that to use regular shampoo. The school planned to give Rachel's hair a thorough going-over before deciding whether to allow her back in class Monday.

On Monday, Rebecca left for school first. She was substitute teaching. I arrived about half-an hour later with Rachel. We must have waited fifteen minutes while the first little boy was checked. He had a couple of lice, but they were away from his scalp and he was given permission to attend class.

Rachel was two children after that. Miss Dawn moved Rachel's hair this way and that way, while telling me that the way Rebecca described what she found didn't sound like head lice.

Finally, Miss Dawn looked up, smiling and laughing. "Rachel doesn't have head lice," she said. "Rachel has wood chips."

Yes, my child's penchant for pouring playground wood chips on her head during playtime was responsible for the head lice scare. So it all had a happy ending....until my sister poured cold water on it.

"Well, you don't have to worry about head lice," Patty said. "You do have to worry about termites though!"