The Ries Family Goes House Hunting

We've been going through a rite of passage the past few weeks, trying to buy a new house. Okay, actually a used house, but it will be new to us.

It's been an education, to say the least. I almost developed carpal tunnel syndrome from all the forms I signed. I learned all sorts of new terms, flooding my brain until PMI turned into TMI.

As we embarked on our journey, my wife and I knew some of what we wanted. We would like a three to four bedroom house without breaking the bank. We preferred hardwood floors. We wanted a basement. We looked forward to a working kitchen. We call the stove in our current house "Sammy Davis, Jr.", because it has just one working eye. An actual laundry room so we wouldn't have to hang shirts above the washer, only to have wooden hangers conk us on the head whenever we leaned over and knocked the shirts off the hangers. And two sinks in the master bathroom would be heaven on earth.

As we toured our potential new homes, we brought our nine-year-old daughter with us. It was important she be part of the process. After all, our number one reason for wanting to move, besides the fact our current house was starting to look bowlegged from lack of space, was to get little girl into a better school system. We quickly learned she had different priorities than we did.

"Take a look at this sun room. It makes you feel like you're outdoors, but is amply shaded by the...."

"Cool, I found a stick!"

"Great honey, there are probably a lot of sticks around, but mommy and daddy need to check out some other things. Go on."

"As you can see, the kitchen has this nice granite top and cabinets that obviously have been..."

"Doggie door! There's a doggie door!" "Yes, but we have told you...you can't have a dog until we're sure you'll do a better job cleaning up after yourself. We don't want to get you a dog and then wind up taking care of it two weeks later, because you've lost interest. We're sorry, please continue. Can we see the backyard?"

"Look at the variety of plants and trees indigenous to Georgia." "Honey, it has a dogwood," cooed my wife. "You know how much I love dogwoods. And there isn't as much lawn to mow as the other house..."

"PINE CONES!" our daugher exclaimed. "They have pine cones. If I need pine cones for a school project, they're right here in the yard."

Mommy and daddy exhaled deep sighs. "That's great, honey. We need to talk to Miss Angie about some other things."

As it turns out, we didn't get that house.

We selected another one, with most of what we want...a basement, a working kitchen, an actual laundry room and two sinks in the master bathroom. While it does not have a doggie door, it does have a nice-sized human door to send out nine-year-olds in search of sticks and pine cones, so everybody goes to the new home happy. "