Sponges, Potties and Fish (Oh My!)

I don't know what it is, but now that she's three, Rachel has ramped up her entertainment value in a major way. You just never know what's going to come out of
her mouth. Toddlers are sponges, you know...sponges with a much more sophisticated central nervous system.

Perhaps the best example is a recent minor league hockey game we attended. Our tickets are generally 11 rows behind the net. Twice in two periods, the other team's goalie is in front of us.

The other team's goalie tends to get taunted and the taunts aren't exactly crafted by MENSA. So imagine our surprise when we heard our sweet little curly-haired sugar and spice daughter apply the cheer to the little boy in her class who she often calls her boyfriend.

"Bennett, Beeeeennnnnneetttttttt, BEEEEENNNNNNNETTTTTT....YOU SUCK!"

I almost gave myself whiplash as I whirled my head around. Of course, I have an incredulous grin on my face as my wife tells me through gritted teeth, "Ignore her. Ignore her. She'll stop."

She did, but it was fun while it lasted. Not that she needs to know that.

By the way, the best taunt I ever heard at a hockey game was, "Hey ref! Are you pregnant? You've missed the last two periods!" High comedy!

Rachel is also making the transition from changing table to potty and from diapers to pullups. So our conversation often turns to #1 and #2 these days.

One day, she is about to pull apart her diaper to sit on the potty when I say, "Wait a minute, sweetie! What's in your diaper?"

"It's just tt..." she replies, "...probably."

Rachel it's the "probably" that worries me.

We had another humorous incident recently. Rachel obviously needed changing, but I wanted to see who won the Olympic event on the tv before I went to the changing table. My wife was cooking dinner on the stove. It was a dish that generated a lot of steam.

At one point, the steam reaches the smoke detector and it goes off. I wave my hand under it three times and it shuts off.

I turn to my wife and exclaim, "Man! That must be one bad diaper!"

As you no doubt would surmise, Rachel is the star of endless photographs in our family. She loves having her picture taken and loves looking at the digital photos on the computer.

Recently, the three of us went to the Georgia Aquarium for the first time. I left my camera at home, so I could take in all the sights without the extra baggage.

Imagine our chagrin as our daughter continually tried to bolt from us. Since we hadn't brought our camera, she wanted to pose in other families' pictures! I had to keep grabbing her to keep her out of the frame!

There was also a moving sidewalk under a huge tank where you could lay down and watch the fish as they swam over you. Rachel kept maneuvering herself until she could be next to whatever cute little boy was in the area.

That's it! I'm locking her up until she's 25.

"Hormones, hooorrrrmmmonneessss, HOORRRRRMMOOONNEEESSS!...YOU SUCK!"