Watch What You Say!

I had a couple of quick errands to run yesterday, quick being a relative term when you're with a 5-year-old.

The first task was to mail 32 pages of something I found to my stepmother. Fortunately, there are some Legos in one corner of the store so Rachel could entertain herself while I filled out the envelope and paid postage. When I finished, Rachel was in the process of completingconstruction of a rather elaborate house.

I decided not to interrupt the creative process and told her we could leave for the grocery store whenever she finished. I had to remind her three or four times, because she kept making improvements. Ultimately, she put a skateboard ramp on top of the house and left a window for the occupants.

Right before we went to that store, we had finished lunch. I had drunk quite a bit of lemonade and my kidneys and bladder were starting to pester me. Since the shopping center was two blocks from home, I thought I could hold it.

At last, I coaxed her to leave and we went to our next destination, two or three stores down the sidewalk. We went to the Bank of America Branch inside Kroger so I could cash a couple of checks.

While we were in line, a girl younger than Rachel handed her a plastic ball about the size of a volleyball, all colorful and pink, which of course, matched Rachel's outfit. Rachel bounced it and pushed it on the bank line restraining rope until it rebounded into her face, which she found funny.

After daddy got his money and Rachel received a lollipop, she asked whether she could have the ball. I told her "no" and instructed her to put it back. She found the "cage" it was in, pulled apart the ropes and went inside to play with all the balls.

My situation wasn't getting any better. Finally, I urged her,"Rachel, you need to get out! If you don't get out now, I'm gonna tt on the floor!"

Wrong tactic.

"TT on the floor, daddy! TT on the floor!" she laughed lustily.

I had to resort to counting to three. As usual, she was out by the time I started counting "two.'

As we walked out of the store holding hands, she was still saying, "TT on the floor, daddy! TT on the floor!"...plenty loud enough for others to hear.