Because of That!

Remember the Family Circus cartoons when the parent asked the child who did some bad thing? The answer was often "Not Me" or "Ida Know", which each became ghost figures that were pictured in the panel.
Well, it turns out we have one of those in our house too.
"Rachel, why did you do that?"
"Because of that!"
"Because of what?"
"That!"
"That" has been responsible for spilled Cheerios, pilfered plastic bags of beads that mom wanted to use to make jewelry, as well as incidents when each and every toy or book is strewn across the living room after removal from their respective baskets.
No matter how hard we press, Rachel usually clings steadfast to laying the blame on "that."
You know me, always thinking. I wondered whether Rachel's excuse would work in my world.
First I tried it in the workplace.
"David, why did you lead your newscast with that story when the lead was clearly the other one?"
"Because of that."
"Because of WHAT?"
"That!"
"What is that?"
"What is what?"
"That."
"Oh, thaattt that!"
"Yes, thaatt that!"
His phone rang.
He excused himself.
And I knew that was when to leave.

Can you imagine using the strategy if a policeman pulled you over?
"Excuse me, sir. I clocked you going 50 miles per hour in a 35 mile per hour zone.
Give me one good reason for not writing you a ticket!"
"That!"
"That?"
"Why were you speeding?"
"Because of that."
"That?"
"Yes, that."
"What is that?"
"Where?"
"No, what is the that you refer to?"
"Ohhh, that"
"That" won't get you out of a ticket, but at least the officer has to work for it.

Imagine its use in a court of law.
"Objection, your honor!"
"What is the basis of your objection?"
"That."
"That?"
"I object to his objection, your honor. Too vague."
"That's a reasonable argument. I won't allow that."
"The first objection or the second objection?"
"What?"
"You won't allow that, but you'll allow that?"
"That's right."
"That's the basis of my argument."
"That's too bad. That won't fly in my courtroom."
"But that isn't fair!"
"That's my ruling and that's that!"